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Son of Doorways
Hello, I am Ramty Eus, and I happen to be the son of the god of doorways. Which, to be honest, is an extremely stupid thing to be a son of. Some people get to be the children of wisdom, some get the sky, and some get the sea. Me? I get doorways. Brilliant. And the monsters still plan on eating me anyway. Because, to be fair, they are monsters. Admittedly though, my dad does have two heads, which is cool, though I'm glad I didn't inherit that little feature. Anyway, I suppose I should tell you my story. It's a superb story, but it sucks anyway. Which? Your choice. Chapter One So anyway, I was at school. I was a little bored, because the teacher was talking about Maths when really a more interesting subject would be ninjas. I mean, the many weapons of a ninja, the various cultural impacts ninjas have made, the different variations, and why monkey ninjas don't exist in real life. It'd be very educational and very practical in the real world. But no, we were doing Maths. Fortunately, there was a window with this absolutely fabulous view outside, so I was looking through it instead. "Eus! What's 8438 X 3834?" the teacher shouted. At least I think that's what she said, I wasn't really paying attention and my ears were bunged up. I really should've had a hearing test or something, but my mother chose not to. I would say what she said, but I couldn't quite make it out. "32351292, miss." I replied. I must've gotten the question wrong, because at that moment the teacher gave me a funny look, and promptly gave me detention. I swear, that question was hard, can't I get a small break around here? The next lesson was Latin, which I had chosen in this choice thing about what second language we would like to be taught. I thought modern day languages would have no use in this modern day and age, so I picked Latin. I got very good marks in Latin, possibly because it was all written down tests rather than spoken in class. Anyway, we learnt about the Roman and Greek (because, admittedly, the Romans stole all their gods from the Greeks) gods and I discovered how to write their actual greek names. Which was awesome! There was Ἀφροδίτη, goddess of love (we were learning their greek names because it's hip, y'see...), Ζεύς, god of the sky, and many many more. So anyway, the school totally blew up! Or rather, some idiot set fire to it. Latin class was on the lowest floor, but we didn't notice until after the door had had its handle heated up from the other side so it hurt instantly on touch. Meanwhile, Science class had burned to the ground, and they were all dead. But who cares, really? No one from my class got hurt, because I did something uber awesome. I just stood up and opened the door with its handle. For some reason the door didn't burn my hand off (or at least, make it really hot) and we all escaped. Oh, yes, while we were escaping the teacher died but he sucked anyway. In the end, I made it out alive, and that's the only thing that matters because its my story. All mine! Chapter Two: Daughter of Seas In the science room, things were not well. Ms Restnom had turned out to be a manticore, and had impaled all but one student, who's heritage just saved her. You see, Mary Houf was the daughter of Ποσειδῶν, or in English, Poseidon. Her instincts had saved her from the other students fates. Their blood dripped from where the spikes had impaled them in their hearts. They started off screaming, but now they made no noise. None whatsoever. Her heritage would've been useful to know, but unfortunately she was only twelve, and like the other gods, Ποσειδῶν usually claimed his kids when they reached thirteen. So eventually, Mary was subdubed, and she was eaten alive. Her feet first, of course. Blood trickling from her legs as they were torn off and the sounds of several small bones and a few bigger ones being crushed. All in all, it wasn't great. She might've screamed, but blood loss has this tricky habit of stopping you from doing anything whatsoever after a while. Not all of us have magic penswords to use on monsters. Chapter Three So anyway, the school was destroyed. The fact I survived had intrigued the guy with a limp who liked tinned enchiladas, a strange food that hasn't been invented yet, as far as I know. I can't really remember what he said, but it was something like: "yo dude, like ur a halfblood an u must come 2 camp halfblood or u will DIE!!!" Can't really remember though, but it did sound convincing at the time. So I went to camp, but trouble was amidst... For, you see, I was attacked by a monster. It wasn't a very powerful monster, but it was a monster all the same. The monster was a baby hellhound, his fur almost completely covering him. Naturally I kicked it in the groin and ran for it, a tactic that was truly brilliant. The guy with a limp, who turned out to be a goatboy named Evets Strebor, found this a bit weird but quickly ran after me. He later sacrificed himself for me somehow, I'm not sure, but I managed to get to the camp. They made me wear an ugly orange t-shirt that was spectacularly ugly. It had the words 'Camp Half-Blood' on it. I wondered why this was necessary, since it was fairly obvious that we were in Camp Half-Blood because we were there and if we weren't at the camp, why on Earth would we want to be advertising the fact we were demigods? Weird. While I was put in Hermes cabin, there was a whole discussion on whose son I was. Most of which agreed on some idiot minor god, because I seemed an idiot and incredibly minor. Unfortunately for them, this is my story. Though I feel like mentioning that Percy Jackson had mysteriously gone missing and his girlfriend, Annabeth Chase, had gone to look for this guy who lost his shoe. Or something. Not that this matters, I just feel like giving you a general gist of when all this is happening. So, basically, Evets was dead, I was at camp, and they were forcing me to wear an orange t-shirt. Truly a terrible predicament. Chapter Four: Satyr Strebor Evets Strebor was in a bit of a mess. He had originally thought he might be escorting a child of the Big Three, due to the smell at the school, but over time he had grown weary. However, the boy he was escorting showed no signs of extra power, and the scent was unusually... minor. Nevertheless, a demigod was still a demigod, and he had no choice but to make sure I made it out alive. The Έμπουσα, or Empusa, had come for me. We were powerless to stop it. Evets suddenly charged towards the beast, and I ran, straight to camp. I heard an intense scream as Evets Strebor was ripped apart, his blood pouring everywhere. His body fell to the floor, instantly changing into a sunflower. The Έμπουσα ran at me, but it was too late, and I passed through the borders that surrounded camp, and the Έμπουσα could not follow. Category:Humor Category:Original Character